lesson learnt today:

should your jap teacher scold you..
STARE at him/her and say in a deep voice..

いっぺん、死んでみる?!

:D

someone's blog song made me tear..

i dont know why but listening to that song just made my whole world crumble inside me..

its something that words can never represent..



blahs i know this is random but..
this is life..
cruel,
unfeeling,
harsh,
UNFORGIVING!

yupps..
so that dreaded day is here again..
as usual, i can't fast forward the day away!
it keeps coming back to haunt me..
i don't know..
i seriously don't know..
yes i hate birthdays!
i don't know why but i hate birthdays!
can't you guys freaking see its just another day?!
yarhs its fun i know..
to me?
i dont know..
but i really appreciate what you guys did for me..
thanks for the cake, the presents, everything..
so, if i ever did raise my voice at anyone today..
forgive me ehs?
haa!

//edit

after school coursemates and classmates planned surprise..
so entertained them..
went downtown east hei sushi for buffet lunch..

went watch high school musical 3 at TM..
went home..
slept..

pictures:






















==============================================

its not as if i want to be like this..
its just that alot of things had happened..
so much so i shut myself in my own world..
yarhs "blame everyone but yourself" you'd say..
but..
do you know what im thinking about?
no!
and you will never will..
no one will ever know..
i won't share..
call me selfish for all i care..
i don't give a damn anyways..
hehs!
just..
leave me to drown in my own despair...

==============================================

what i did today:

woke up at 2pm+?
went down Zhou Zhuang for high tea buffet..
bought secret recipe's chocolate indulgence cake..
reached home 6pm liddat..
napped till 10.30pm?
showered and went online..
what an "exciting" birthday~
TSK!

pictures:





==============================================

those who wished me wherever~

sms:

1st - audrey
2nd - joanna
3rd - jonathan
4th - kaven
5th - yvonne
6th - li yan
7th - jim
8th - my ah yee (:
9th - qi min
10th - wei juan
11th - qiu yu
13th - zhi qing
and most importantly!
sophia dear!! :D

msn:

1st - wendy
2nd - meihsin
3rd - asandy

advanced bdae celebration:

liyan
jolene
wei qiang
win win
KJ
kaven
derrence
flora
joanna
jiayin
zhen wen
wen ding
beng ghee
jun jie
juan ping
wen jun
huimin

friendster:

1st - wei xin
2nd - melanie
3rd - wendy
4th - ker jui
5th - lois (stop the butch thing lahhs~~ x.x)
6th - patricia
7th - pan hui
8th - yaw hui
9th - dong shuen

blog:

1st - win win
2nd - cassandra

facebook:

1st - jacinda
2nd - gerald
3rd - charmaine
4th - lee yee

some usual few did not bother to wish me this year..
nvm dont wish me also can i dont bother also!


PS: dear! thanks for your sms ya? it really cheered me up! you just know what to say to me no matter what happens! and i love you for that! :D its been almost 5 years and yet we are still able to read each other like a book.. hope this thing never dies alrights dear? hahas anyways you jiayous for your Os huhs! never give in, never give up! i'll always be there for you no matter what happens alright? GANBARIMASU! :D

i hung up the phone tonight..
something happened for the first time deep inside..
it was a rush, what a rush..

cause the possibility,
that you would ever feel the same way about me..
its just too much, just too much..

why do i keep running from the truth?!
all i ever think about is you!
you got me hypnotised, so mesmerized~
and i just got to know~

do you ever think,
when you're all alone?
all that we can be,
where this thing can go?

am i crazy or falling in love?
is it real or just another crush?
do you catch your breath?
when i look at you..
are you holding back?
like the way i do?

cos im trying and trying to walk away..
but i know this crush ain't going away~ ay~ ay~ ay~ ay~
going away~ ay~ ay~ ay~ ay~

has it ever crossed your mind?
when we're hangin' spending time girl..
are we just friends?
is there more, is there more?!
see its a chance we gotta take..
cos i believe we can make this into something that will last forever~ forever!

am i crazy or falling in love?
is it real or just another crush?
do you catch your breath?
when i look at you..
are you holding back?
like the way i do?

cos im trying and trying to walk away..
but i know this crush ain't going away~ ay~ ay~ ay~ ay~
going away~ ay~ ay~ ay~ ay~

why do i keep running from the truth?!
all i ever think about is you!
you got me hypnotised, so mesmerized~
and i just got to knoooooowwww~~

do you ever think,
when you're all alone?
all that we can be,
where this thing can go?

am i crazy or falling in love?
is it real or just another crush?
do you catch your breath?
when i look at you..
are you holding back?
like the way i do?

cos im trying and trying to walk away..
but i know this crush ain't going away~ ay~ ay~ ay~ ay~
(this crush ain't) going away~ ay~ ay~ ay~ ay~
(going away) going away~ ay~ ay~ ay~ ay~

hmmmmms is it me or is everyone around me starting to get pretty emotional? be it family, friendship or relationship problems.. im seeing too much of it nowadays.. and its seriously getting into me! its eating into my memories which i've been trying to bury deep inside somewhere! they are fucking resurfacing! and i dont want them to!

so whats the talk about dying? i dont know, there are times too many where i felt as if its better off dead.. but think! is it worth throwing your life away just for something which is hurting you only temporarily? what doesnt kill you makes you stronger i guess..

heyheyhey! for a pessimist, im pretty optimistic~ x)

so you guys better stop doing what you are doing.. cos its really gonna affect me, you know it dont you? plus that dreaded day is coming.. i really dont want it to come! fast forward can i? hmmms.. fuck it! ^^v

ps: you, you know who you are.. please stop telling me stories which i dont want to hear.. please do NOT assume everyone/thing will turn out the way that happens to you.. life is cruel! face it! and stop telling me to just look at things in a different light when certain things only come in DARKNESS! you get me?!

hahahhs the following photos consists of randomness and outing on the friday, 17th oct with coursemates and classmates! hahahhhaas ohkays im really lazy to type anything much so here goes nothing!





















ONE MORE THING~ class starts in 7.5 hrs time! and im still freaking awake LOL! good luck to me man! xD

hahahhas~

im considering to cut my hair short! wait wait.. only on the right side of my head! hahahhahas~ cut is so damn short~ but not shave lahs hahahs! if sahve then really damn funny liaos i think~ should i should i? HAHAHHAS! nvm if i do cut, i will take a pic de bahs i guess hahas!

anyways a certain someone said i dont look like a girl when everyone else is saying the opposite lahs! hahahs hor joanna SIAO hor?! xD ehhs hahahhahahs thanks kaven for typing out that surname for all to follow!~ :D yupps yupps to prove her wrong.. here goes nothing~



hahahhas so yupps! prove! hahahahahahahas! kukunarden~ hehs..


anyways im here to share something nice! hahahas xing showed me this video ytd night? ive been like rewatching it lahs hahahs! stupid video, why so addictive hehs.. somehow i feel like ive been into smthing familiar, or is it not? too much thoughts tooo much i dont want to say anymore liaos.. watch and understand for yourself bahss..



hehs i guess thats it bahs? hahhas ohyeah i went down and bought 3 tees! for 20$ hahahhas yay school reopen next week got new clothes wear lohhs~
=.="

hahahhas had 3 days of chalet with my classmates and coursemates! held at costa sands pasir ris lols.. 8, 9 and 10th october lalalas~ enjoyed myself thoroughly those 3 days lahhs! so fun can hahhas~

day 1: yupps.. met derrence, kaven, kj, castillo at pasir ris.. the bussed and walk to costa sands to check in.. liyan came later in a cab =.= rich peepo are like this hahhahas! cab = bus LOL! =X yarhs so checked in, slacked and waited for a couple more to come before heading to buy our neccessities at loyang point's sheng shiong hahas.. buy and buy like nobody's business rofl~ hmmmmmms then what we do? makan? yarhs makan then erms.. lols actually i kinda forgot what we did HAHA! but i know we rented 13 bikes for night cycling.. 1st day no bbq cos alot ppl cmi, so push it to 2nd night lor hahas.. ohya had chicken rice at e!hub lols.. the chatterbox chef open his own shop there.. so yupps, that night ended up with 14 people ==' so we cycled to mel's house to borrow a bike for another coursemate and cycled to changi village! hahahhahhas~ tired like anything can.. think cycle there and back, nearing 20 kilometres siols~ ahahhahas! yupps so we slacked there abit.. just when we were leaving for another place, ahmah fell into the bushes in SUPER WOLS motion hahahs~ all were like laughing at her then i helped her up.. so bad siols ask me help the bike instead of her lols.. so half went back, half had supper.. hahahs omg lor, we saw ahkuas, budden is those super CMI one can?! no wonder they no business lahs hahas! those at the carpark one are like much chio-er LOL! blahs whatever~

yarhs so after supper we rode back.. terrible i tell you.. all the upslopes killing me cos my blood sugar dropped suddenly until i was like seriously lagging behind siols~ hahahahas so i was like peddling ylwols behind.. like eons passed before i reached the chalet.. so i just sat down there and STONED! hahas i was asleep with my eyes like the rest said.. only when they touched me did i move hahahs.. they freaked out lahs, they thought i was possessed or something hahhas.. i did that like 3 times? lols whatever.. 1st night didnt really sleep hahahs..

day 2: sooon it was tian liang liaos lols.. blahs then half of them went WWW while the remaining few slacked around for abit and went shengshiong + shopnsave to buy remaining groceries needed for bbq.. hmmmmmmms yarhs bbq time? then ahmah and me started fire.. started thawing food blahs etc etc.. had fun bbqing the whole night.. drank vodka! jiayin, me and ong each a cup and nothing happened to us LOL! the junjie and penguin drink little bit nia SEH liaos hahahhas! so effing funny hahahas.. so yupps had surprise celebration for derrence and desmond.. farid went around creaming everyone, winwin tooo! alot of innocent bystanders kenna, including me hahahhas~ yarhs so whatever, showered and i went up to the room to slack liaos.. the rest played murderer the whole night lols.. me, ong and jiayin lazed around on the bed.. blahs like 6+ liaos alot of them went home.. left with the few of us to pack and check out.. derrence and kj cabbed home.. i followed jiayin and ong go mac for breakfast.. the cabbed home.. reached home around 10+am, collapsed on bed and concussed until 11pm, only to wake up cos im effing hungry hahahhas! xD

yupps went to bed at 3am.. then havta work on saturday and sunday =.= uber shag can lols..



pooor ong kenna snapshot by me ahhhaas!