this pain is for real.. and i suppose its gonna be around me for some time.. im trying to make it go away but to no avail.. im gasping for air.. and im exhausted.. really exhausted..
sleepless nights.. nights of tearing.. its been so long, i shouldnt have let you in the first place..
and fuck it, i pulled my left arm tendon again.. was tired till my arm gave way.. i cant even lift my bag now.. migraines are hurting my head so badly.. i cant even have a proper nights rest to get the pain out of my head.. everyone's giving me nonsense.. haish..
im at my limit.. my false front cant hold out anymore.. and i mean it..
cuts hurts, but at least they take my mind off things for awhile.. ((:
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
been running from this feeling for so long.. telling my heart that i dont need it.. pretending that i was better off alone.. but i know that its just a lie.. so afraid to take a chance again.. so afraid of what i feel inside..
but i need to be next to you!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSSSSSS! :D:D
enjoy your day ya! sorry i couldnt get you anything.. T_T
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
HAHA! kinda last minute thing lahs but ya.. met jasmine at qt mrt to go IT Fair tgt.. then walked around lols.. the fair fucking alot of people lahs hahahs! expected lahs cos it was the last day lols~
so yarhs soon it was 4.30.. we 2 went and meet up with the rest of jas friends.. so yarhs all were here and we walked over to Swissotel.. the one at city hall de.. then a LIMOUSINE came... we were like, IS THAT OUR LIMO? hhahas it apparently is LOL! imagine 11 of us suddenly walk inside the hotel lobby and got into the limousine.. those passerby faces all stunned de sias lOL! :X:X
yeahs so we had like a ride round orchard road.. mind you.. ORCHARD ROAD! LOL! the expressions on the people on the streets are priceless i tell you! hahahahahas! xDDDD so yarhs we then arrived at the destination.. limo driver opened door for us.. photographers welcomed us with flashes.. those in the queue had their jaws down LOL! :X:X
hahas blahs whatever i shall skip the priority entrance and the OTOT part lololols.. so yarhs waiting for the concert to start inside can really kill.. it was supposed to start at 7.. the thing somehow dragged till 8 or smthing lols.. yarhs she then came out.. performed about 6 songs or smthing.. then ended le.. lucky draw was a failure.. no one got in from the winner's group hahas! yarhs then all left.. jas parents fetched me home.. yarhs and i guessed thats it lolols..
PS: PHOTOS WHEN IM FREE.. ELSE REFER TO MY FACEBOOK PROFILE! :D
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
the exhaustion is taking effect on me.. to my surprise, i woke at 5pm today.. which is rare cos i didnt stay up for 2 nights for me to sleep more than 12 hours..
i guess.. im just plain exhausted.. mentally.. and physically.. its slowly taking its toll on me..
how nice it is being able to sleep for long hours.. how i wonder, what it feels like being able to sleep.. and NOT wake up.. i really wonder how that feels ehs? HEH..
haish.. it hurts so much.. so much so i've forgotten how it feels like to be hurt again.. i just don't know myself anymore..
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOISY!
NI LAO LE! :D
((:
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
ok so now what? term tests are over.. term break is here.. but whats with the projects??? i just dont get it..
and in case you think im dumb.. and didnt even notice the change.. think again i advise the lot of you.. retribution happens.. this i assure you..
dont force the dormant side of me out again.. make the nonchalent me remain.. you guys wont want to see the other me.. trust me..
HAISH!
hmmmmmmmmmmms.. went out with jes to the zoo ytd.. met her around 10+ at cck to bus in.. yupps.. hahahahahs kept disturbing her.. saying her relatives are the pigs and lets go visit them! :X zoo changed alot lahs.. the kids zone become more.. erms neat? yarhs even the KFC is renovated lols.. sadly my pet iguana is up on the tree.. he refused to come down and let me sayang him.. stupid thing kept lying there high up on the branch.. soaking up the sun the whole day.. TSK! yarhs so we walked and walked and walked.. practically walked the whole zoo lahs but we skipped some monkey exhibits.. she finds primates so not cute lolols.. some are still ok to me lahs, but most dont appeal to me.. AMPHIBIANS AND REPTILES INTEREST ME MOST! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHS!
so yupps.. zoo was closing.. we left.. bussed back to cck.. walked around lot1 for awhile.. the weather outside was murderous i tell you.. its so nice being in an air-conditioned place! hahas walk walk walk then we saw MOF(Ministry Of Food)~ i was like attracted to the icecream budden had second thoughts lahs.. check out the pricing 1st before deciding.. yarhs before i could do so she dragged me in liaos.. she even treated to me to my strawberry sundae lahs! refused for me to pay.. so fierce~ hehs but thanks huhs jes!((:
yarhs so walked around.. then trained to causewaypoint and continues walking around.. wanted to play arcade but didnt so we observed people playing for awhile lor.. then walked her home.. slacked under block abit and she went home le.. and i did something stupid.. i walked to admiralty station.. the distance betwen woodlands and admiralty is FAR APART i tell u.. dont know why i headed there lahs! 961 goes the other way lor omg noobshit me.. heng managed to get back to woodlands int at 11.30.. thought the last bus went off cos queue empty.. but i must really count my blessings lahs! the last bus came and i bussed home.. hehs yarhs slacked abit and after failed attempt at driving SOMEONE to sleep.. i went to sleep liaos.. haish..
and maybe you're right.. you think lots of nonsense if you're alone.. tsk...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
a 'lil something about me
Ooi Chang Wei Jonathan
25th October 1989
19 ITE College East (Simei)
Diploma in Info-Communications (TP)
tiramisu is LOVED!
BigBang is <3~
fuck me and you get it back twice as hard! :D
i meant what i said ;)
wanna try me? :)
いっぺん、死んでみる?!
